Reactions happen without thinking. It is a conditioned reflex based upon what has worked in the past. It’s back of the brain thinking. Military and Self Defense Training rely on repetition to teach the brain how to respond during times of attack. The repetition transfers the information from short-term memory to long-term memory. Stored so that the moves can be performed in a split second when needed.

Responding to something is a little different. It’s much more then reflex. It requires the information to be governed by logic, learned information and personal morals. When you respond to something, you have enough confidence in your safety that you do not need to make a snap judgment.

This story may help you understand. Friends of mine have their grown daughter, her husband and granddaughter living with them, while he returns to college for retraining. The husband had been upset about something for months, but had not shared his frustration. Much like a water heater with a pressure relief valve, the son-in-law’s anger became so great that it spewed all over the rest of the family. He was clearly out of control as he lashed out with accusations of injustice.

My friend has been working on his self control and ability to respond rather then react to incidents. Had my friend reacted to the outrageous accusations, he would have demanded that his daughter’s family move out as soon as possible, making them homeless. But he was able to feel comfortable within himself to realize that this was simply a release of angry pressure. He did not need to defend himself. He simply needed to stay out of the way until the pressure was relieved. At that point he could respond to resolving any wrong.

Managers need to learn these same skills to avoid dismissing valuable company personnel.

Ken Bear Cole

A Second Look Business Consulting LLC